Things I didn’t like about the movie – the gleeful attention to crunchy gore, the stop-start slo-mo action sequences (is this the bullet-time of the late noughties?), the sex scene (okay, I admit it was probably just as bad in the book, but… ), the nucular explosion used as a replacement baddie instead of the monster

Things I did like – basically a lot of the things you disliked – the entire pirate comic in a comic (of course it had to go, it’s a goddamn movie, not a comicbook), the island subplot, the newsdealer chatter.

I’d say it was a good enough compromise. The very fact that it was still quite pretty faithful reproduction of a comic book was the first thing that ensured it would never live up to the hype or the stature of the source material.